About the project:
What if our problem isn’t a lack of good, joyous things in this world? Instead, what if we are just having a hard time finding them these days? Ross Gay asks in a poem to his unborn child, “What would you think of this world which turns itself steadily into an oblivion that hurts, and hurts bad?” Of course, there are terrible things happening every moment of every day. No doubt. But must the opposite also be true? For me, I guess, it has to be true. To get by in a world that hurts, and hurts bad, I have tried to reach for and harvest and hold close to my heart the antidotes to those hurts; I think it’s my only way to stay sane. I’ve heard that joy is a form of resistance.
In my 20s, my ceramics professor taught me just how important it is to look closely at things, to really consider and appreciate the often overlooked details of the objects we encounter and interact with every day. To pause and investigate how the lip of a mug would feel on my lips, the comfort of the handle, the depth of the glaze. Does it sound frivolous to wade into these details? Perhaps. And it’s important to acknowledge the privilege one must have to in order to slow down and feel safe enough to drink these things in.
This project is in no way a denial of the painful parts of life. My day job is working as a mental health therapist. I deeply value acknowledging the suffering in our lives. But I also subscribe to Annie Dillard’s startling clear statement about our precious time: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”
So what should we do when we’ve used up all our tears?
I’ll leave you with what has become my beacon of hope over the last several years, a poem by Mary Oliver:
Don’t Hesitate
If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,
don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty
of lives and whole towns destroyed
or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often
kind. And much can never be redeemed.
Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this
is its way of fighting back, that sometimes
something happens better than all the riches
or power in the world. It could be anything,
but very likely you notice it in the instant
when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the
case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid
of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb.
Love always, Hilary